WARNING: THIS POST IS ABOUT SEX AND PORN. Its mostly about what's wrong with porn, but seriously don’t read it if you are freaked out about sex. I'm not, so I'm not likely to filter much.
What is Wrong with Porn
What's Wrong with Porn?
I was just reading this and was struck by his point: "How many people even know why they are offended at the idea of boobs or penises being on the screen?" and I found myself musing on the answer. I think I got a couple of good guesses:
1. Kids and procrastination. If you were watching TV or playing a video game with your kids, and a big cock popped up on the screen, you're kids would not be offended or weirded out (they have to be taught that the human body is "wrong", they won't jump to that assumption on their own), but they would ask you about it. This would force you into having a conversation you might not want to have just yet...sort of like if the neighbor kid tells your 5 year old there is no such thing as Santa: I don't want to have that conversation yet, I want to preserve their innocence since once its gone its gone for good! This is a good thing, because:
2. Innocence is actually pretty awesome. Face it; the "first kiss" is often the best. First hug in a romantic way has a magic that will haunt you always. I can remember the first time my arm brushed a girls that I had a crush on: it felt more exciting then any sex could. Why rush a kid to lose all that? Frankly, I wish someone would sell a sexual lobotomy pill - take it and you can do EVERYTHING for the first time all over again! Shit, nobody would need viagra!
Back before the Internet, you could actually try something in the bedroom that you hadn't accidentally seen 400 times online. That was kind of neat! Now, anyone who has spent any time online has probably accidently seen everything that two people can do together, and possibly what two people and a donkey can do. Doesn't that take they charm out of a romantic expirimentation with a Donkey? :P
3. Jealousy. The women I know that are pissed about porn are pissed for the same reasons they are pissed at fashion models: they don't want to compare them selves to people who look sexy for a living. I get this, but at the same time that’s like a non-musician being pissed at Nathaniel for rocking the guitar: he was born with some musical ability, and he added to that with A LOT of work. That’s pretty much how success in ANYTHING works, even modeling. Being mad at a model for doing his/her job well is silly.
Yes, I just compared Nathaniel to Porn Stars.
There is also a second point to jealous: do you want you spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend getting aroused by someone one who is not you? This goes further then just "look at her body, I want to fuck her!" I've got a lot of friends who do erotic drawings, write erotic books, photos, etc...I'll admit its a little weird to think about my wife getting turned on by a friend of mine. I'm not the jealous type, but it is weird - I'm sure the jealous type would be freaked the fuck out by this.
4. Uncontrollable hornyness. Occasionally I'll get a porn-spam, and I'll open it on my iphone without looking at the caption and there will be some sexy picture, and I'll think "Crap, now I'm horny, and I'm at my moms house for dinner with the family! God dammit." Luckily, porn-spam is mostly so repulsive this doesn't happen often! It can have the reverse effect, "after seeing that, I'll never be horny again! Which brings me to my final point:
5. Porn Sucks. It really does. I'm no authority as I've seen only a minor slice of what's out there, but what I've seen has been badly directed, bad lighting, bad music, and bad acting, and more often then not unattractive people doing kind of boring stuff (if a non-pro can do better then that...). I've often wondered if good porn would actually be profitable enough to justify talented people doing it. Take some bad ass director like Steven Spielberg, and give him a budget and a real A-list cast and one goal: as sexy as possible...would that sell enough to compete with other major blockbusters? Picture this; Scarlett Johansson is gentily making out with Natily Portman...suddenly Brad Pit walks in, its Scarlett’s boy friend, and he's jealous! But Scarlett wants him to know its not about cheating it was about tender experimenting, he should feel included! Million dollar sets, million dollar lighting...a warm summer afternoon in a castle in the south of france, gently blowing curtains, pure white linens, pale creamy skin...wouldn't people buy that?
Nope, because then we've just broken rules 2 and 3. People would be jealous they did not look like these flawless people, and people would lose the innocence that would make that sinario most fun if it ever happened to you!
On the flip side, porn could have some benefits to sex. Seeing other people doing something fun could have the advantage of suggesting something a couple might not have thought of on their own. Not everybody is creative, and sex problems in marrage are often rooted to the fact that people stop trying new things and get bored with each other. At that point, the only thing to saticfy them is to try new people, or more likely they will just give up.
Also, provided the viewer doesn't get freaked out by watching it, porn could also help a more prudish person get over their issues an have fun: "hell, if everybody does that I guess its okay to try it!" This assumes rules 3 (jealousy) and 5 (porn mostly sucks, and can be really gross) wont create an impass.
Perhaps if it was safer to select porn without accidently inflicting yuckiness on yourself..."hum, I want to see _____ and girlfriend wants to see ____ but neither of us even want to think about _____! I wish their was an IMDb of porn...with no pictures!"
Okay, thats all I have to say on the subject...I'm spent!