Robert From Abney Park (robert_from_ap) wrote,
Robert From Abney Park
robert_from_ap

Captain Robert Asked to Endorse Senate Candidate??? APOCALYPSE!


I take it as a good sign of a pending apocalypse when a well know airship pirate/haphazard rockstar is asked to endorse a serious political candidate. Yup, the apocalypse is coming...and I'm really excited about that!

Brian Chabot asked me to endorse him in his run for US Senate. Now typically my political strategy is simply “keep a low profile until this whole 'man kind is the dominant species' thing blows over and we get back to some serious wasteland again. But since since he was kind enough to ask for my approval, I thought I'd take some time to ask him some questions and see if his answers were in line with my own beliefs...or at least to see if his answers were entertaining, and how he dealt with MY line of questions!  (not to mention my spelling)

INTERVIEW WITH BRIAN CHABOT, SENATE CANDIDATE

Captain Robert, “Brian Chabot, there is a lot of talk in Washington about healthcare reform. Obama has made some progress towards his goals with healthcare reform. How do you feel is the best way we as a nation can prepare for the pending Zombie Apocalypse?”

 

Brian Chabot, “Well, first thing is Health Care in this country is VERY broken. In fact it's broken in a lot of other places, too. I'm all for universal health care, but I think we're doing it all wrong. First thing we need is a mandate to do it. The US Constitution doesn't give that power to the Federal government and I think that's where we need to start. Next thing we need to do is figure out how we intend to pay for it. Once all that is squared away, then we need to back off and let the physicians do their thing.

Now, when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, we won't be worried about how we're going to pay for vaccines or uhh... disposal... for the infected. ”

Captain Robert, “Personally, I hate government...I hate being governed. We run our own business (online store selling CD's, playing concerts, etc), home school our kids (public schools are horrible, and we can't afford private schools), we shop online, and we travel 50% of our lives. The only contact I have with the government is either airport security breaking our instruments, or the IRS making life as an independent artist nearly impossible. To me the government is a VERY expensive service I am not using – but I'm required to pay for it, because you guys have bigger guns then me. Its like I'm paying for Mafia protection, when I'd really rather be left alone.

Meanwhile, I see 'Liberty. Honor. Truth' as your slogan. How would you envision Liberty, Honor, and Truth manifested in a government that's grown to big for those ideals?”

Brian Chabot, “Downsize. Downsize some more. And then cut the fat. Liberty is a simple concept that so many people just don't seem to grasp. In essence, I'm free to swing my arms in any way I see fit, so long as it doesn't interfere with your freedom to swing your arms. I can swing my fist but I'm no longer in the right if my fist connects with your face. I think that's pretty simple... and speaking of being in the right, Honor is all about doing the right thing in the right way. It's about acknowledging your right to swing your arms. It's about working with your peers, treating others as equals. Truth is being able to say, “oops, I was wrong” and then correcting your actions. When you steer your airship, if you find yourself off course, you gotta make adjustments to make things right.”

Captain Robert, “What is your view on unlicensed, time traveling airships? I'm just guessing here, but I got a feeling someone in washington is going to be considering laws regarding such a thing in the VERY near future. Before I could endorse you, I'd need to know what you think those punishments laws should be.”

Brian Chabot, “You shouldn't need a license! But you should have some clue what you're doing. As with many things, I am all for mandatory safety certification... but licensing? Not so much.”

Captain Robert, “I see you are in favor of legalizing Marijuana. That really doesn't effect me, since I think the stuff smells like cow poop (and my pipe tobacco and rum is still legal)...but I want people to be happy, so “go you” with your policy.

However, cigarettes and pot stinks. I mean, they really really smell bad. Cow farms and pulp mills and flatulence smell better, so I really get laws concerning smoking in public. Green rooms don't get their name from the color of the walls...and they REEK!

That said, Goths clove cigarettes smell AWESOME – even your grandma would agree with that. And we Steampunks put some very aromatic tobacco in our pipes – smells like cookies and rum. How bad is that? Shouldn't laws controlling smoking in public make exception for those of us smoking things that smell really f-ing good? It is really only making the world a better place. Imagine a world of outlawing stinky thinks, and allowing hippies to walk around with their nag-champa, goths smoking their cloves, and me with my pipe.”

Brian Chabot, “That would be great if we could figure out how to pull it off. One solution is to put the steam into the punk and promote electronic cigarettes. My proposal for the burning type of smoking though, which I came up with a very long time ago, is to require that any establishment which allows smoking be required to have a working air filter system.... That guy over there should be able to toke on his joint without you having to smell it. It all goes back to your rights to do as you please so long as it doesn't stop me from doing as I please and vice versa. Live and let live. Live free.”

Captain Robert, “My final question: If some horrific time-space cataclysm decreased the worlds population to a small fraction of what it is today, essentially resetting the world to where it was in American during the Victorian Times/Old West era...how do you think the government should punish reward the crew who did this? This question is less irrelevant then you might think.”

Brian Chabot, “I think there should be several cases of fine spirits available to properly douse the flames of such a rebellion. I'm still up in the air though... cognac, Scotch, absinthe, or a nice, light laudanum?”

 

---------------------------


NOTE: This thread is sure to start some political discussion. Lets play nicely. If I see anything that I think might cause a riot, I'm going to quietly delete it - no hard feelings. I just want to keep everybody happy.
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