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Captain Robert
Abney Park
Captain Robert Asked to Endorse Senate Candidate??? APOCALYPSE! 
19th-May-2012 11:31 am

I take it as a good sign of a pending apocalypse when a well know airship pirate/haphazard rockstar is asked to endorse a serious political candidate. Yup, the apocalypse is coming...and I'm really excited about that!

Brian Chabot asked me to endorse him in his run for US Senate. Now typically my political strategy is simply “keep a low profile until this whole 'man kind is the dominant species' thing blows over and we get back to some serious wasteland again. But since since he was kind enough to ask for my approval, I thought I'd take some time to ask him some questions and see if his answers were in line with my own beliefs...or at least to see if his answers were entertaining, and how he dealt with MY line of questions!  (not to mention my spelling)


Captain Robert, “Brian Chabot, there is a lot of talk in Washington about healthcare reform. Obama has made some progress towards his goals with healthcare reform. How do you feel is the best way we as a nation can prepare for the pending Zombie Apocalypse?”


Brian Chabot, “Well, first thing is Health Care in this country is VERY broken. In fact it's broken in a lot of other places, too. I'm all for universal health care, but I think we're doing it all wrong. First thing we need is a mandate to do it. The US Constitution doesn't give that power to the Federal government and I think that's where we need to start. Next thing we need to do is figure out how we intend to pay for it. Once all that is squared away, then we need to back off and let the physicians do their thing.

Now, when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, we won't be worried about how we're going to pay for vaccines or uhh... disposal... for the infected. ”

Captain Robert, “Personally, I hate government...I hate being governed. We run our own business (online store selling CD's, playing concerts, etc), home school our kids (public schools are horrible, and we can't afford private schools), we shop online, and we travel 50% of our lives. The only contact I have with the government is either airport security breaking our instruments, or the IRS making life as an independent artist nearly impossible. To me the government is a VERY expensive service I am not using – but I'm required to pay for it, because you guys have bigger guns then me. Its like I'm paying for Mafia protection, when I'd really rather be left alone.

Meanwhile, I see 'Liberty. Honor. Truth' as your slogan. How would you envision Liberty, Honor, and Truth manifested in a government that's grown to big for those ideals?”

Brian Chabot, “Downsize. Downsize some more. And then cut the fat. Liberty is a simple concept that so many people just don't seem to grasp. In essence, I'm free to swing my arms in any way I see fit, so long as it doesn't interfere with your freedom to swing your arms. I can swing my fist but I'm no longer in the right if my fist connects with your face. I think that's pretty simple... and speaking of being in the right, Honor is all about doing the right thing in the right way. It's about acknowledging your right to swing your arms. It's about working with your peers, treating others as equals. Truth is being able to say, “oops, I was wrong” and then correcting your actions. When you steer your airship, if you find yourself off course, you gotta make adjustments to make things right.”

Captain Robert, “What is your view on unlicensed, time traveling airships? I'm just guessing here, but I got a feeling someone in washington is going to be considering laws regarding such a thing in the VERY near future. Before I could endorse you, I'd need to know what you think those punishments laws should be.”

Brian Chabot, “You shouldn't need a license! But you should have some clue what you're doing. As with many things, I am all for mandatory safety certification... but licensing? Not so much.”

Captain Robert, “I see you are in favor of legalizing Marijuana. That really doesn't effect me, since I think the stuff smells like cow poop (and my pipe tobacco and rum is still legal)...but I want people to be happy, so “go you” with your policy.

However, cigarettes and pot stinks. I mean, they really really smell bad. Cow farms and pulp mills and flatulence smell better, so I really get laws concerning smoking in public. Green rooms don't get their name from the color of the walls...and they REEK!

That said, Goths clove cigarettes smell AWESOME – even your grandma would agree with that. And we Steampunks put some very aromatic tobacco in our pipes – smells like cookies and rum. How bad is that? Shouldn't laws controlling smoking in public make exception for those of us smoking things that smell really f-ing good? It is really only making the world a better place. Imagine a world of outlawing stinky thinks, and allowing hippies to walk around with their nag-champa, goths smoking their cloves, and me with my pipe.”

Brian Chabot, “That would be great if we could figure out how to pull it off. One solution is to put the steam into the punk and promote electronic cigarettes. My proposal for the burning type of smoking though, which I came up with a very long time ago, is to require that any establishment which allows smoking be required to have a working air filter system.... That guy over there should be able to toke on his joint without you having to smell it. It all goes back to your rights to do as you please so long as it doesn't stop me from doing as I please and vice versa. Live and let live. Live free.”

Captain Robert, “My final question: If some horrific time-space cataclysm decreased the worlds population to a small fraction of what it is today, essentially resetting the world to where it was in American during the Victorian Times/Old West era...how do you think the government should punish reward the crew who did this? This question is less irrelevant then you might think.”

Brian Chabot, “I think there should be several cases of fine spirits available to properly douse the flames of such a rebellion. I'm still up in the air though... cognac, Scotch, absinthe, or a nice, light laudanum?”



NOTE: This thread is sure to start some political discussion. Lets play nicely. If I see anything that I think might cause a riot, I'm going to quietly delete it - no hard feelings. I just want to keep everybody happy.
19th-May-2010 06:46 pm (UTC)
Any candidate who is willing to discuss the zombie situation has my attention. ;D
19th-May-2010 06:46 pm (UTC)
On the theme, did you realize that cloves are now illegal in the US?

20th-May-2010 12:53 pm (UTC) - Cloves...
are illegal for sale, but not for possession. You can buy them from out of country (Mexico, Canada, and Turkey are well known and cheap favorites) for a very reasonable fee. Also, the loophole in the rule allowed the selfsame clove companies to release clove cigars; that is, clove cigarettes in all but name, with a different style of tobacco. However, they simply don't taste or smell the same...
19th-May-2010 06:51 pm (UTC)
Where do I move so that I can vote for this guy? I'm stuck in a land where the mayor of the largest city is the brother of one of the state Senators.

It is such a relief to see a politician not dodging questions, esp. questions pertaining to the Zombie Apocalypse.
19th-May-2010 08:24 pm (UTC)
New Hampshire. Come on in. It's quite nice up here.
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19th-May-2010 08:38 pm (UTC)
I deleted my earlier rant because it was just that, a rant.
Thanks for posting this, Captain.
19th-May-2010 09:37 pm (UTC)
I agree pretty much with most of his stances on the big issues. Too bad I don't live in NH or I'd support him in a heartbeat.
19th-May-2010 09:57 pm (UTC)

You can always spread the word that I'm out here and running.... (Well, trying to get on the ballot at the moment...)

Or you could run for office yourself. It's how I decided was the best way I could make a difference. "Why doesn't anybody.... awwww heck. *I* will."
19th-May-2010 10:17 pm (UTC)
I don't live in NH, and I'd probably want to ask even more questions if I got the opportunity, but I <3 the fact that Mr. Chabot not only sought Captain Robert's endorsement but is replying to the concerns brought up here.

I'm not sure if I agree with you, Mr. Chabot, but I respect the way you're going about things here. Bravo. :)
19th-May-2010 11:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm trying to be the Senator most connected to the people. I can't WAIT to blog and tweet from the Senate floor.
19th-May-2010 10:22 pm (UTC)
*rounds of applause for Captain Robert from this end of the temporal ether*
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19th-May-2010 10:36 pm (UTC) - Re: Coming FROM the candidates district desired..!
..and that's what I would call inflamitory. Deleting...
20th-May-2010 12:58 am (UTC)
Rats I live so close (NY) but cant vote for him..

Zombies should always be a topic discussed with governments :3
20th-May-2010 04:41 am (UTC) - Greetings my friends, fellow deviants, and ofcourse our esteemed host Captain Robert of The Ophelia
I am Azurhan Dark, more commonly known in the real world as David Philbrick. Brian Chabot asked me to be his campaign manager for this jolly and off-kilter adventure of getting him into the United States Senate and I said, sure, why not, at least this will be very very interesting.

I would like to point out several of the more technical things about campaigning just so it is here in the discussion and people can see it at their leisure as I know most of us prefer to do things at our leisure.

My Candidate's website is http://BrianChabot.org
his company site is www.justworksnh.com for all of you lovely folks to get a better grasp of his background currently.

Beyond all of that, for those of you in the NH area that are willing to help with this madcap idea, the more the merrier, and for those of you that are removed from the NH area but would still like to see at least one person make it to the United States Federal Senate that is like us more or less and thinks like us more or less but agrees with the point of view of the common folk, all donations to political campaigns are tax deductible under current NH and Federal laws governing the donation of money for political activism.

All that said I think we have a smashing chance at making this happen and the more we can get aboard the better. I look forward to talking with you all as well now that my announcement for the discussion has been completely.


David Philbrick
20th-May-2010 08:16 am (UTC)
OK then. Time to address some important issues.
First and foremost, the question of the zombie apocalypse was not answered to my satisfaction. He said nothing about home defense, preventative measures, or the inevitable cry of inhumane treatment that the morons of the world will wail in shrill tones when we red blooded Americans defend ourselves from the undead hordes. Remember, people. This is a country where you can go to jail if a burglar slips and hurts himself while pilfering your home of valuables. Is there anyone that really believes that during the first few weeks of the zombie apocalypse, the greatest strain on the government will not be lawsuits filed by family members of the newly undead? I say we need it on the books immediately that being undead, by definition, denies a person all rights as a citizen and all considerations as a living creature. Find me a politician that will make that happen.

Downsizing the government sounds great on paper, but the reality is that a downsized government is a weaker government. A weaker government will have fewer tools at its disposal when the zombie apocalypse takes place. This is unacceptable. Streamlined, yes. Engaging in more balanced trade practices, certainly. Ceasing our role as the strong right arm of the United Nations so we can turn these resources inward towards making our own lives better, assuredly. But downsizing isn't necessary. All this money and effort just needs to be redirected into a more "For the benefit of the United States" direction rather than a "for the benefit of everyone else and all who make more than two hundred thousand dollars a year" direction. Additionally, advocating immense government downsizing while making noises about government sponsored health care is both ridiculous and a little insulting. By definition, government run health care will require more government and higher taxes. There is really no way around it. Now, believe it or not I am all for this. I will pay the piper if the piper can keep me healthy. But pushing for both is either ignorant or optimistic to a degree that is terrifying to have in a place of power.

Smoking in public places should be outlawed in government buildings. Everywhere else it should be the choice of the proprietor. Telling somebody how they can run their own business to that degree is despicable, and a fine example of the excessive "government" that needs to be cut. For the record, I do not smoke, and actually think they all smell fucking nasty. I don't patronize places that allow it and never did much. But I still think they should have the right to make that choice.
Besides, smoking is bad for night vision and I don't want to end up a zombie because I didn't see the bastard.

I pray every day that the world will be taken by some manner of cleansing mishap that will remove the detritus of this planet from my sight, but I think his belief that the government will be in a position to offer anything more than a firm handshake and well wishing after such an event is merely another example of his terminal case of optimism.

Sadly, despite all of this bile he still sounds better than most. I'd vote for him.
20th-May-2010 02:41 pm (UTC)
Well answered! I agree that the defense agianst zombies was not addressed.

I dissagree that a smaller government is a weaker one. A smaller army is a weaker one, but back when I worked in large companies I saw that the bigger it was, the more dead weight got in the way of things. Projects that you COULD have done by yourself now had to be filtered through 10 different teams, each with the power to veto it...and so nothing got done. Government works the same: too many cooks really does spoil the soup. At least thats what my perspective on things is.

I gotta say my job is better now that people don't smoke in clubs...however, I do miss being able to smoke in clubs myself (pipes, cloves). Catch 22? Aw well.

And as far as your "clensing Mishap"; Ahmen brother.
20th-May-2010 04:15 pm (UTC) - $$$$$$$$$$
Good points about zombie defense in the comments, but in the end, its all about who bought their shotguns at wal*mart and learned how to shoot them. I will be one of the unlucky ones. Guns give me skeevies.

I am glad about the clove ciggs being banned. I always started smoking again with those little buggers, and I am less interested in the $8 per pack (for 13 of them mind you) cigars they are swinging. They banned them, I quit. My lungs are happier for it.

Weed would save this country's ass with the $$ that could be made. Hence why Oregon refused under the he-who-shall-not-be-named adminstration to quit the medical program. The medical cards made too much money. However, it would drive the price up and make caregivers in Oregon unnecessary (yaaay for legal weed farmers) which would suck. I happen to like my shmoke on Friday nights instead of drinking. What of it?
20th-May-2010 07:45 pm (UTC)
Wow, it's tough to get on the ballot for Senate in New Hampshire. Good Luck Brian! It's tough to run as an independent.

I, myself, am running for the State Assembly of Nevada as a Libertarian. I won't bother the good captain for an interview or an endorsement, but for anyone who may be interested, feel free to check me out here.
20th-May-2010 10:37 pm (UTC)
Woohoo! Good luck to you!

NH is tough indeed, but not too outrageous in my opinion. It keeps the ballots manageable. I would have sought the Libertarian backing, but I was about 3 weeks too late in deciding to run. LPHN is putting forth the same guy they've had running for aeons. Great guy, but he hasn't inspired the people to get out and vote for him.

While I don't disagree with him, I think I may have a better chance running as a wildcard independent.
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